At what point upon growing older do you decide, I don’t want to put my life out there in the public domain anymore?
Before the word selfie was created, there was camwhoring. And camwhoring was quite a dirty word, if I remember correctly. There was a distinct sense of crass and ego attached to it.
But who I am to critique such a subject?
The attention seekers? My entire blog history culminates in me doing exactly that until I created a shell so thick & dark that would enable me to hide away from the world.
My secret nook that I could replay my thoughts in perpetual secrecy, away from the prying eyes of the public, never to be judged for what I believed in.
Sometimes I wonder, is this what happens when you grow older? Obviously your perspectives and goals undergo a massive shift, but really, have we lost our innocence, our blitheness?
Heck, look at the amount of people out there on the web who continue to publish their thoughts, their reviews, their opinions, snapshots of their lives, life altering events with continued unabashedness, unafraid of the evil words people spew?
Is it because of jealousy? People’s silly belief that only the superior and eloquent should be allowed to utter words?
Let me just say, fuck. that.
I used to write unapologetically. Be damned with the haters – but then something changed. Not wanting to commit to a cause that might come back and bite me in the ass later on ? A slice of “this is what happens when you are too vocal” being chucked back in my face? Retribution? Having to face my mistakes on and on and on again?
Hell, I’m man enough to admit that I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. The only difference is between me and you and everyone else (especially the ones who seem to not be able to do no wrong) is what is we know or have been told about?
NO ONE IS PERFECT.
In the midst of a rather hard conversation I was having with my mum the other day, she said something that reverberated quite strongly with me, “your priorities and views change depending on what age you’re at”.
That’s gospel right there. It’s true, we all know it’s true…but it’s all too easy to forget when we get too caught up with life and staying in the moment.
Heck, look at this post. 9 years ago, my prime concern in life was merely GETTING INTO UNIVERSITY TO DO MY GODDAMNED DEGREE.
It’s all too easy to sit back and laugh about all of this now but all was good back then.
On that note, I want to share this lovely lady with the world. On a day when I was losing my shits because the terrible weather decided to mess with my plans, she steadfastly rattled on options and was ever receptive to my ludicrous (even to me) suggestions and never whinged an iota.
Thank you, and I bloody love you.
20 days to go.
If only Doc’s DeLorean was real.