please allow me to gripe a little at 3:42 am using merely one hand as the other is keeping me occupied (tsk tsk, i sense evil thoughts). anyways, i cannot be bothered about grammar nor vocabulary seeing as to how ridiculously drained my brain is. i have a confession, my command of the english language is horrible.
what boggles my mind is when people start talking one way and typing in another. i bet some of you consult the dictionary and thesaurus and spend about 30 minutes composing a 0.5 paragraph post. you know who you are. sometimes really eye-popping things pop up (whoookay, pun definitely not intended). for instance, let me tell you about how i was left stumped at the writings of a person i personally know (eh, why so many unintended puns?). there i was, thinking WTF, which hat did he/she pull those words out from only to spot one or two discrete grammar mistakes, plus words being used in the wrong context. it is quite the funny lo.
why hor, have to pretend to write so fancy shmancy posts? simple english cannot izzit? if cannot walk, don’t run. got hear before? i’m not saying that my wiener is an 20-incher and yours is just satu suku inci, but surely there is a better way going about it? for instance, i have a problem with punctuations. comma’s in general really. all my posts are usually splattered with them like how you see people grab anything and everything in sight at isetan whenever the sales roll around. it takes me great and immeasurable effort to curb the must-comma-here-and-there syndrome that i have and to proofread my posts 3x to ensure that it doesn’t have enough comma’s to further blind a blind person. hah. isn’t that funny? HAHAHAHAHAHA :D
in addition to that, i have a problem with people who post pictures of anything and everything that breathes, moves, and well…gets fat. i cannot think of something better to replace those words so don’t go about raising your eyebrows or i shall do to you what a certain friend of mine claimed his aunt did to him. sorry. inside joke. didn’t expect you to understand. if they’re interesting pictures (like your mum shagging roadkill) then sure, all’s good. but do i really need to see you try on that top? do i really need to see you posing with that hot girl? MUST YOU POST A GAZILLION SHOTS OF YOU AND YOUR PARTNER IN BED TANTALIZINGLY CURLED TOGETHER REEKING OF pre-pubescent levels of SEXUAL INNUENDO? guess not. if you really thought people found that interesting, then maybe you ought to get your head checked.i hope i’m not the only sick(ya right) fellow who visits your blog(s) for comic relief. i also can remember this promise that a few of us made last time: take 10++ pictures of yourself when you get a new haircut. unfortunately, that one didn’t quite materialize. remember or not you lazy buggers?
AHHHHHHHHHH. THAT’S A LOT BETTER.*insert the loudest pleasure moan you can ever fanthom* can imagine or not someone just wanked off to your salsalicious pictures? OK, now that i can type with two hands, this is going to be a lot faster.
i like people who put all their heart and soul intro writing a honest-to-god blog. really one. those sort of people who bitch about how evil the person sitting next to them in class is, how awful the driver that he/she met in the morning on the way to school/work was, how fucking fantastic last night’s clubbing session was, moaning about the cracking hangover that was caused by downing one too many tequila (insert your poison of choice here) shots the night before and how absolutely cool you are because of the things you do (in a “nondescript and rather discrete manner” of course) . hello, wake up can? i’m not saying you shouldn’t blog about these things, hell, that’s what a blog is for no? the problem is right, you cannot complain when people openly, oh wait, i shouldn’t say that. the right word should be anonymously criticize you and you then ask the fella to STFU and get lost and don’t come back if they aren’t interested. lesson no 1: anything on the internet, is public knowledge. you think the fella really reading your blog cause he into you ah? he’s laughing at you la for god-bloody sake! how can you not piece that together since you had the IQ of a mouse which brilliantly, enabled you to realize that smoking is really cool. REALLY WHACKED OUT YO. wait. before you say i very the bias because of my future profession, let me tell you that 80% of my friends smoke. OK OK, maybe the figure is closer to 90%. and that doesn’t only comprise of guys. so hor, don’t say silly things like that. i am indifferent to smokers. hell, i do not even condemn substance abuse. your tar and nicotine are kids play.
haiya, if you are not laughing by now i dunno what else to write already. wait wait, i just had another einstein moment. let’s go back to paragraph 4. the part about taking borderline-puke-a-tastic pictures with your significant other. who hor, must be such teases? haiya, if you all are sleeping together mar suak lo. why so proud of it ah? you think you are the first ones to find out about the birds and the bees ah? just because you’re doing it doesn’t necessarily mean no one else is doing it too. sorhems.
OK, cannot type anymore already. later i kana shot in the balls when i stop at a traffic light. very often occurrence now. must get back to my very orgasmic (this line was meant to be sarcastic, if you cannot tell) literature review also. i hope you were entertained. i sure as hell was. if you ruddy well liked it, i beg you to leave a comment can? i’ll try to do his more often during the weird hours i now keep. i know there are people filling in, but very rarely got activity so i also become very jealous of the very hip people who have 10++ comments on each post although i’m sure my page hits are a gazillion times more than theirs. cough cough. even after 1 month of inactivity. cough cough.
p/s: the cashew nuts were excellent.
p/ps: cibai’ted, i got grammar mistake! :C